March 9th, 2010
Why I Work
I had an appointment with my psychologist today. In talking about some of my concerns we’ve particularly been focusing on my childhood and how it has shaped me. I mean, we all know our childhood experiences affect our adult lives, and I’ve always been aware that the motivation for me to have a career and independence was rooted in my childhood experiences, with a mother who was so dependent on her spouse for financial support that she never seemed to be able to freely choose anything. But still, a lot of the time I am so busy living my life that I don’t really evaluate why I am the way I am or why I feel the need to make the choices I do.
I have worked fairly steadily since I was 13 years old. I babysat regularly when I was 13 and 14. I got a job at McDonald’s weeks after turning 15 and being considered old enough. I kept that job until I was 22 or so. When I finished high school I worked for a summer at a bank and then ultimately went back to McDonald’s and got a part-time job at a different branch of the same bank. When I went to college to become a paralegal I kept working at McDonald’s until I had my diploma and had a permanent legal assistant position. Other than maternity leaves I’ve never been unemployed, and of course I started my virtual legal assistant business when I realized I wouldn’t be returning to my paralegal job after having baby #3.
I am an extremely lucky woman today. My husband works in a field where we know he will make a good income that can support our family (well, most years). My husband does not expect me to work. But I DO work. I worked out of the home for most of our marriage and now I work from home. If my business is not the success I want it to be, I will go back to working out of the home. Not because I love working (although I do like what I do most days!) but because I need to feel like I have some independence and control. It sends me to a dark place when I feel like I don’t have enough control over money and the choices that relate to that (career or whatever).
I know a lot of people who think that being a mom is a full-time job (it is). And I know people who think if you are able to “afford” it, it’s best to focus on your children, at least during their early years. And that’s not wrong, but it is not for me. It’s easy if you haven’t been in someone else’s shoes to not understand why they make the choices they do. But some things run deeper than they seem. Working can be about so much more than money, for example. It can be about self-esteem and autonomy; it can be about control and security. And THAT is why I work. For me.
February 26th, 2010
A Super Pink Makeover
You know I like pink right?! My blog has been pink for quite some time now, and once upon a time even my virtual legal assistant site had a pinkish theme, (I switched to green and gray to be a little more professional though). But I’ve longed for some help with my blog theme for some time and after seeing a recent tweet about such services by Sarah of One Starry Night, I decided to bite the bullet and have a custom theme set up.
It’s beautiful isn’t it?!! I am so excited to have this new look, I think I’ll feel motivated to post this weekend! After I finish up some other work of course and depending on how distracting the last weekend of Olympics is. Like if Canada makes it to the gold medal hockey game on Sunday!
Hope you like the new look too, even if you are cheering for the “wrong” team on Sunday (anyone other than Canada, lol)
February 24th, 2010
WAHM Wednesday: Working Alone
I had a semi-productive day today. I got work done for a couple of clients, put together a newsletter and watched some speed skating!
Around 4 pm I was really feeling the lack of grown up conversation and gave my BFF a call at work. I’m jealous that she can keep getting paid while I bug her on the phone, lol, and she probably wishes she could work in her pj’s! Despite the whole grass is greener thing though, today I gave a lot of thought to the fact of how hard it is to work alone so much of the time. I’m pretty sure that over time I will get out to work more, but essentially I don’t see my business ever leading me to be a super social person. Most of my work requires me to really concentrate while at my computer, which doesn’t exactly lead to conversations even if you are working at Starbucks.
Sometimes I’m super grateful for the chance to work alone. I used to hate being interrupted at work by a chatty colleague right when I was getting down to business. But on the other hand sometimes I loved having someone to share things with, both work and personal. So now, while I have plenty of online interaction opportunity, I miss working with other people. I miss conversations that are NOT about Mario, Luigi or any other character in a Wii Mario Bros. game. I miss grabbing a quick coffee during a break, instead of having my toddler beg for a sip of my instant decaf. I think next year when two kids are in school I’m going to have to work harder at getting out of the house!!
