May 5th, 2006

And Baby Makes….5?

Well my journey to motherhood began several years ago. I married my wonderful husband, DM, when I was 24. We were happy newlyweds who didn’t think we ever wanted children. A year later we decided maybe we did want children after all (baby fever is powerful!) I went off the pill a couple of months later and by our third month off the pill we were pregnant! Obsessive and anal as I tend to be, I had started fertility charting soon after going off the pill and was easily able to pinpoint ovulation and thus conception.

After a relatively easy pregnancy we discovered our lovely first child was breech and I eventually had a c-section delivery due to that fact. We had a beautiful eight pound baby boy who we named Isaiah.

A couple of years of fun and exhaustion later we decided to try the baby making thing again. I charted again and was pg the very first month this time. Unfortunately I began spotting bright red at 8 weeks and I had a feeling deep down that this baby wasn’t going to make it. After much worry and fear at 12 weeks it was discovered that I had an anembreyonic pregnancy (also called a blighted ovum or a missed miscarriage). I had a D&C in early December of 2003 and I was devastated.

I can’t even describe all the sadness of that time. I gained about 10 lbs from chocolate binging and cried a lot. I wondered if I could go through this painful process again and if we shouldn’t just take our time before making plans for baby number two.

My ob-gyn told us to abstain for at least two weeks from intercourse and to wait at least 3 cycles before trying again. We mostly abstained the next month, but one night of “comfort” turned to passion lead to an unexpected pregnancy immediately after the D&C.

At the beginning of January 2004 we realized the joyful news and while worried we were fortunate to go on to have a beautiful and healthy baby in late August of 2004. Xander was born by VBAC (vaginal birth after ceasarean) after 19 hours of labour and 2.5 hours of pushing – OUCH!!! He was a tiny baby compared to his big brother but healthy and sweet.

So now we come to the present day – May 2006 – and we’ve decided to have one more baby. My husband and I have thought about having even more than 3 children, but for so many reasons the next baby will likely be our last. I’m charting again and think I ovulated one or two days ago.

I admit to longing for a little girl this time around – my boys are wonderful and amazing and I can’t imagine life without them, but I think many of us women dream of holding a daughter in our arms. I will love any baby I am blessed with but I thought I’d try some of the many methods of gender swaying I read about on the lovely world wide web! I’ve taken supplements and changed my diet, made my DH have a hot bath before we bd’d (baby-danced!). Now we wait and see – am I even pregnant? Do we keep trying these little maybe helpers or do we just let life happen and enjoy whatever baby comes our way?!! Only time will tell…..