October 15th, 2009
Stay at Home or Not
I admit it, I watched a bit of the Dr. Phil show yesterday. Funnily, I never ever watch the show but it came on after something I had been watching and I was busy working so I didn’t bother finding the remote to change the channel. Then I saw what it was about and even though I knew how it would go I kept watching. The “mommy wars” theme is actually getting really tired. Sure there are tons of opinionated people who think they should decide for other people what they should do and what is right or wrong. But most of us moms realize that we all have to make our own choices and not worry about what other people think or what choices those people make.
We are all so different. I can only know my experiences, so how can I tell you what to do? Sure, if you asked, I could give you my opinion or tell you about my experiences. But that’s it. And I think what is right tends to be very fluid. For me, working at home is the right choice FOR NOW. It might not be the right choice next year or in 10 years. We’ll see! Not that working at home with the kids is often addressed in the SAHM vs WOHM discussions. Admittedly it is simply not an option for everyone, but neither is the pretty ideal Dr. Phil talked about where a mom can work but still always be at every school event, every soccer game and home for every illness. He may offer that to his lucky employees, but in the real world not many employers are that accepting of parents who put home ahead of work to that extent.
Well this busy WAHM must get going – I have to start (finally!) putting together a book review for After You by Julie Buxbaum, do step 2 in my breadmaking, go to the post office to mail client materials and make a phone call on behalf of another client. Oh plus do some laundry and get the baby down for a nap in a couple of hours. Plus go to a parent teacher conference and make dinner and hang out with my best friend before she leaves on her vacation. Just a typical day!
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Yeah – I thought this topic was all dried out by now? Honestly, I’ve never seen this all mighty Mommy war in person. I’ve got Mommy friends who work at home and outside the home and just stay home and have never experienced this so-called war.
Nell
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Hi,
I was very surprised and shocked at the kind of judgements these woman make about each other. I feel we are all good mothers if we work or not. We all try to do our best and please everyone. I find that as woman we work hard to fill all the roles that our family and society expect from us and for every mother, woman out there whatever choice she makes is good for her and I believe that she should never be judged, but respected and acknowldeged for simply being a mother and doing the best she can do everyday. After all, we are all simply human, not robots of perfection. So please, love and respect each other even if you don’t agree.
Galit.
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Thanks for the comments!! I love seeing other moms who agree with me that we don’t have to be the same and it isn’t our place to judge!
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