February 10th, 2010
WAHM Wednesday: Leisure Time
The simple fact that I’m finally typing this at 10:20 pm could tell you that I don’t have much leisure time. Or you might just know that I was watching tv for the last two hours instead of writing a blog post or doing a little work.
Yesterday I was reading over at Becky and Hollee’s blog about leisure time. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard about the leisure time experiment and follow up articles before, but yesterday I sat down and read this in entirety. And right there? That was basically leisure time, even by my standards!
I commented on Becky and Hollee’s blog that I don’t have much leisure time. And certainly I don’t feel like I have much leisure time and I absolutely am on 24 hour parenting duty most of the time. I go for a girl’s night out once a month if I’m lucky (my version of girl’s night usually involves dinner and shopping!) I go on a date with my husband every couple of months or three or four. And it’s taken us the two+ years since BabyBoy was born to finally start going on dates again. I’m not good about leaving my kids with a babysitter, but thank goodness I’ve found someone I like. If I lose her I’ll be in trouble again. I also have one day where my two oldest are in school and the youngest is at a dayhome. Which is sometimes a day full of leisure and often is a day full of work.
If I add it all up, and count the hour or two after bedtime on the couple of nights a week I’m not working like crazy, maybe it does add up to 30 hours a week. But shouldn’t leisure time FEEL like leisure time? Reading a book for 30 minutes before falling asleep is nice and I’m grateful for the option, but it’s so not the same as being able to go to a bookstore alone.
I guess us moms (well, this mom anyway) really do want it all – we want to work, we want to be with our kids and we want time for ourselves – real time. Time where we can do what we want to do, rather than fitting in ’sort-of’ me time. Sure I can do yoga at home, and that’s for my pleasure, but I can’t easily take a class because even when they are asleep I am required to be here. Even in Canada we have social services called on us if we leave young kids alone you know! So is the time when they are asleep leisure or childcare? Or can we really label our time at all? Maybe work life balance means that everything is mixed together, into a mish-mash of me and them and us.
Ah well, late night ramblings be damed – I love my life and whatever type of leisure I can find. Right now I think it’s waiting for me under a nice warm blanket and it’s name is sleep…..zzzzzzzzz.
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My ‘leisure time’ doesn’t necessarily feel like leisure, either. There’s always too much to do, and too little time. Re-framing it has helped me a little, though. Reminding myself that I really LOVE my life and I CHOSE this life helps me not to feel as put-upon. I will probably even miss the crazy-busy-ness of all this when it’s over, and so I accept it, even though it does sort of drive me crazy.
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You read my post on this issue. I admit that I get a decent amount of leisure time, however, there is one caveat. Never do I enjoy worry free leisure time, whenever I am indulging in one of my favourite pursuits it’s always knowing it’s at the expense of some other important task. They tell me that’s motherhood and it never changes 
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I think worry will always be there but I hold out hope that someday the worries will just simmer in the background and they can take on enough themselves that I’m not worried about if they ate enough
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