October 19th, 2009

Book Review: After You by Julie Buxbaum

After You by Julie Buxbaum

It’s interesting to me that my synopsis of this lovely book by Julie Buxbaum doesn’t really match what is on her own website! Does that mean I’m “wrong” or just that we all see things so differently and get different things from books? Well, that is how I see it anyway!

To me, After You is about loss and the incredible journey one must undertake to move past a particularly significant or tragic loss. Loss can be a very hard topic to read about – if you are particularly sensitive right now in your life I don’t actually know if I’d recommend the book, although otherwise I absolutely do. It is a really wonderful book with a compelling main character in Ellie.

Loss is so personal. We all experience it at some point and we all hurt. But there is so much expectation around losses – you should feel this way, for this long and then you should be ready to “move on”. Of course it doesn’t work that way for so many of us. Maybe I’ll need two years to recover from something that you adjusted to in only six months. Maybe I’ll cry and rant and rage and maybe you’ll turn inwards and quiet.

In After You, Ellie has been trying to move on from her own personal loss for awhile, when another tragedy strikes in her life. Her best friend Lucy loses her life in a public murder, right in front of Lucy’s young daughter, Sophie. Sophie has a very difficult road ahead of her coping with losing her mother so violently and Ellie temporarily moves from the US to the UK to help Sophie.

Other than a slightly predictable ending, I really enjoyed the whole story in After You and I give it 4 out of 5 stars. Hope you enjoy it too!

October 15th, 2009

Stay at Home or Not

I admit it, I watched a bit of the Dr. Phil show yesterday. Funnily, I never ever watch the show but it came on after something I had been watching and I was busy working so I didn’t bother finding the remote to change the channel. Then I saw what it was about and even though I knew how it would go I kept watching. The “mommy wars” theme is actually getting really tired. Sure there are tons of opinionated people who think they should decide for other people what they should do and what is right or wrong. But most of us moms realize that we all have to make our own choices and not worry about what other people think or what choices those people make.

We are all so different. I can only know my experiences, so how can I tell you what to do? Sure, if you asked, I could give you my opinion or tell you about my experiences. But that’s it. And I think what is right tends to be very fluid. For me, working at home is the right choice FOR NOW. It might not be the right choice next year or in 10 years. We’ll see! Not that working at home with the kids is often addressed in the SAHM vs WOHM discussions. Admittedly it is simply  not an option for everyone, but neither is the pretty ideal Dr. Phil talked about where a mom can work but still always be at every school event, every soccer game and home for every illness. He may offer that to his lucky employees, but in the real world not many employers are that accepting of parents who put home ahead of work to that extent.

Well this busy WAHM must get going – I have to start (finally!) putting together a book review for After You by Julie Buxbaum, do step 2 in my breadmaking, go to the post office to mail client materials and make a phone call on behalf of another client. Oh plus do some laundry and get the baby down for a nap in a couple of hours. Plus go to a parent teacher conference and make dinner and hang out with my best friend before she leaves on her vacation. Just a typical day!

August 5th, 2009

Book Review This Charming Man by Marian Keyes

This Charming Man by Marian Keyes

I’m going to admit, I wasn’t sure at first what to think of Marian Keyes‘ latest book, This Charming Man. It was the first book I’d read by Marian and the “voice” of Lola, the first main character in the book, rubbed me the wrong way. After several minutes of reading I was feeling quite frustrated by Lola’s grammar and style, but a quick flip of some pages revealed that it would not be the only voice in the book. In fact, three women were given a voice in the book, and eventually I was completely won over by the stories they shared and how each story was woven into the others.

This Charming Man is a nice long, juicy read – 676 pages. So don’t expect to sit down and read it in one sitting, unless you have several hours free! I personally love long books, there is so much more time to get to know the characters and wonder what exactly is going to happen in the end. If you don’t like long books though, consider yourself warned.

At its heart, This Charming Man is, to me, about choices, independence and most critically, violence against women. Each of the main women featured in this book have seen or experienced violence exacted upon a woman by a man no one would even realize was an abuser. Isn’t that sadly too often the case?

I wish I could say I was shocked by the fact that certain characters in this book went back again and again for more abuse. I wish I could say I was shocked that other people suspected the abuse and did nothing about it. I am not though. The world can be a very ugly place and domestic abuse is prevalent around the world. I know it’s affected my life. My mother is in an abusive relationship right now. She lives in denial of the severity of her situation, like so many people who suffer silently. It is scary and sad and ugly and wrong. It has colored the way I see the world and how I behave with my amazing husband. It colors every choice I make for my sons, because I want to make sure they grow up understanding why violence happens and how to make better choices in their lives.

Thank goodness there are real choices and good people in this world. There is one woman in this book (no, I won’t spoil it and tell you who!!) who acts heroically in more than one way, by taking a stand against violence and it is people like that who give me hope. Fictional or not, I know that there are people just like that in this world and we need them!!

Overall, This Charming Man is a fascinating read with a well-developed and intriguing story, fascinating characters who feel very real and a ton of emotion. I cried through several parts (not surprising to you if you’ve read any of my other reviews, lol). What can I say, I love to cry through my books! Wait til I share some of my newer reviews with you, some of those books were serious tear-jerkers.

Despite my initial hesitation I actually give This Charming man a full 5 out of 5 stars. It had everything I want in a book and more and I loved it so much I’ve since read about 3 other Marian Keyes’ books from my library and I have another in my to-read pile!