August 9th, 2009

Worn Out WAHM

Last week I did a little too much and I was so worn out this weekend. It was just one of those weeks where I was questioning my motives in being a WAHM and my sanity. DH was “home” from work until Wednesday but had to attend a safety course Tuesday, so we had two early mornings getting him off to the course and then off to his flight back to NWT. Thanks to getting rid of one vehicle the previous week of course.

The older two boys started swimming lessons and I *know* how important that is but why oh why does it have to feel like torture waiting for them? Baby Boy cannot stand sitting still and watching them swim. I have to chase him for an hour and take turns getting the other two out of lessons and into normal clothes again. So exhausting. Plus Big Boy had a dental checkup on Thursday and I had a new project Thursday night that I got started way too late and ended up not getting to bed until 3am. I am not normally that type of WAHM. I value my sleep excessively and consider 11pm a late enough night. Friday I was a mess but I’d agreed to take all the boys swimming for fun, in addition to lessons. It made taking care of Baby Boy a lot easier as he was so happy to finally be allowed into the pool, but by the time we were done we were all tired!

In fact, we were so tired I let the older boys play video games so I could have a nap when Baby Boy napped. They weren’t being quiet enough so I made them turn it off after half an hour and told them to play quietly. I woke up 2.5 hours later with Little Boy snuggled up with me in my bed. Left him sleeping, grabbed chatty Baby Boy who had just woken up and went downstairs to see Big Boy just waking up from a nap. Apparently he laid his head on the stairs to “rest” for a minute and fell asleep. Guess all the early mornings and swimming tired everybody out! Thankfully we’ve since had a quiet and relaxing weekend and we’re all feeling more normal. I might even be up to baking some cupcakes in a little bit!!

Every time I get this worn out, I start to wonder though. Is this worth it? Am I cut out to be a work at home mom? Am I putting too much time into building my business? I was reading a great book I picked up last week at the grocery store, Between Interruptions, an incredible set of essays by moms, for moms. These stories were by moms like me, who made choices, questioned themselves, had good days and bad days, laughed and cried and stumbled in despair. Not all of the moms were “like” me, but then again, they were ALL like me. It was the most real and moving tribute to motherhood I could ever have imagined and it inspired me to keep doing what I’m doing. Because what I’m doing? It’s being real to myself, living my life and working towards my dreams and trying to be a mother who is both there for my children but also a role model for my children of what women can achieve.

I realize that sure, there will always be things I don’t get done (floor mopping for example) but I’m living a pretty good life on the whole, despite the bad days and the projects that take until the wee hours of the morning. And I’m also inspired to learn more about The Momoir Project (from the editor of Between Interruptions, Cori Howard) and I think I might even buy the workbook and work through the writing exercises here on my blog. And yay!! In looking for links for this post, I found Cori on Twittermoms and then of course, my beloved Twitter!

August 5th, 2009

Book Review This Charming Man by Marian Keyes

This Charming Man by Marian Keyes

I’m going to admit, I wasn’t sure at first what to think of Marian Keyes‘ latest book, This Charming Man. It was the first book I’d read by Marian and the “voice” of Lola, the first main character in the book, rubbed me the wrong way. After several minutes of reading I was feeling quite frustrated by Lola’s grammar and style, but a quick flip of some pages revealed that it would not be the only voice in the book. In fact, three women were given a voice in the book, and eventually I was completely won over by the stories they shared and how each story was woven into the others.

This Charming Man is a nice long, juicy read – 676 pages. So don’t expect to sit down and read it in one sitting, unless you have several hours free! I personally love long books, there is so much more time to get to know the characters and wonder what exactly is going to happen in the end. If you don’t like long books though, consider yourself warned.

At its heart, This Charming Man is, to me, about choices, independence and most critically, violence against women. Each of the main women featured in this book have seen or experienced violence exacted upon a woman by a man no one would even realize was an abuser. Isn’t that sadly too often the case?

I wish I could say I was shocked by the fact that certain characters in this book went back again and again for more abuse. I wish I could say I was shocked that other people suspected the abuse and did nothing about it. I am not though. The world can be a very ugly place and domestic abuse is prevalent around the world. I know it’s affected my life. My mother is in an abusive relationship right now. She lives in denial of the severity of her situation, like so many people who suffer silently. It is scary and sad and ugly and wrong. It has colored the way I see the world and how I behave with my amazing husband. It colors every choice I make for my sons, because I want to make sure they grow up understanding why violence happens and how to make better choices in their lives.

Thank goodness there are real choices and good people in this world. There is one woman in this book (no, I won’t spoil it and tell you who!!) who acts heroically in more than one way, by taking a stand against violence and it is people like that who give me hope. Fictional or not, I know that there are people just like that in this world and we need them!!

Overall, This Charming Man is a fascinating read with a well-developed and intriguing story, fascinating characters who feel very real and a ton of emotion. I cried through several parts (not surprising to you if you’ve read any of my other reviews, lol). What can I say, I love to cry through my books! Wait til I share some of my newer reviews with you, some of those books were serious tear-jerkers.

Despite my initial hesitation I actually give This Charming man a full 5 out of 5 stars. It had everything I want in a book and more and I loved it so much I’ve since read about 3 other Marian Keyes’ books from my library and I have another in my to-read pile!

July 8th, 2009

Q & A With Jane Green, Author of Dune Road

I recently did a book review of Jane Green’s book, Dune Road, for Penguin Canada.  I loved the book, and in fact have since read Swapping Lives and am halfway through Second Chance (yay to my library having a good stock of Jane’s books!)

So I was of course super excited when my contact at Penguin asked if I’d like to do a Q & A with Jane as part of her promotional tour for Dune Road. Typically, in my busy work at home mom life, with little childcare for the time being, I asked if we could just do it by email as I tend to have trouble having long phone conversations and there was a short time frame to do the Q & A in. So I sent my questions to Jane via Penguin and she graciously answered them AND posted them on her own blog too!

Here are the questions if you are interested – with a few comments added after the fact by me!

How much time do you spend writing each week? It depends whether it’s a writing week or not. If I’m on my fortnight hiatus, then it’s just blogging, which I aim to do every day, but of late, with the book tour, it has been a few times a week. If I’m on a writing fortnight, it’s three to four hours a day.

Do you need complete peace to work and do you have trouble getting that with your large family? Ha! Trouble? It’s practically impossible to have peace in the house, with sibling fights erupting every other second. Oddly, when I was in my twenties I was a journalist on the Daily Express in the UK, and worked on a super-busy desk with phones ringing and people chatting and editors shouting, and it never phased me, I just kept my head down and wrote. Nowadays I need complete peace, and so I put the kids on the school bus, then take myself off to my local public library, Powerbook under my arm, to write for the morning. I am always done by lunchtime, and back to being Mummy for the rest of the day.

(I totally need quiet to get constructive work done, which is why I’m typing this up at 11pm!)

I loved the independence Kit found in Dune Road and her appreciation for things that matter, instead of possessions. Did you have real life inspiration for her character? Is it obvious? I have lived the large life, in the large house, with the labels and the jewels, and I have never been more unhappy. It struck me then, and continues to strike me, what a fallacy it is that money should buy you happiness, and yet, up until recently, I think that is what we were supposed to believe. All of my protagonists are on a journey to find happiness, and peace, and all of them discover that it is never to be found outside themselves.

I’ve read a few of your blog posts – what do you think of blogging as a published author? Is it a good companion to your work, or a distraction? It is an enormous distraction, and increasingly hard to find the time, and yet, I enjoy it so. It seems that marketing and publicity are now increasingly self-generated, with blogs, and websites like Facebook and Twitter (to which I am horribly addicted, partly because they are quick and easy), and I love that I get to stay in touch with my loyal readers – it helps me, and them, stay connected.

(I definitely think blogging/twitter etc are great publicity – I use both for my VLA biz and have generated much interest that way. I can’t help but think it’s a perfect pr tactic for authors!)

Do you read a lot of blogs, and if so, what type of blog do you like best? I don’t, but my secret shame is the gossip blogs. I will say that I’m a regular visitor to Gawker – their comments section is hilarious.

(She doesn’t read my blog I will have to work on that I guess, lol)

How do you treat yourself, either as a reward or just cause you’ve had a bad day? With a steaming hot and deep bath, and an early night. I am completely addicted to my bed. Me, my cats, a stack of books and magazines, a computer…life doesn’t get much better.

(Me? Chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate, hmmm, not a good weight loss technique is it?!!)

Who is your favorite author. I don’t have a favorite author, as such. I’m more likely to have favorite books. I loved The Shell Seekers by Rosamunde Pilcher all those years ago, and loved Bread Alone by Judith Hendrickson. And the Tales of the City series by Armistead Maupin are falling apart on my bookshelf, they have been read so many times.

(I can’t have a favorite author, I love books too much. I must say though that Jean M. Auel and the Clan of the Cave Bear series, for which I have been waiting forever for the last book, are way near the top of my list!)

Hmmm, think I’m going to have to go onto the library’s website tonight and request a couple of Jane’s favorite books – should be interesting reads!