February 18th, 2010

Saying No Saying Yes

I was just catching up on some google alerts and general reading when I found this post from Tracey Solomon. Normally I would have just commented at her blog, because I think leaving a comment is the perfect way for you to connect with another blogger. I like comments here after all, and I know most bloggers do too! But Tracey, if you read this, it’s not so easy to comment on your blog and that’s too bad. I love meeting other work-at-home moms (especially of boys!) Of course I’m writing this late Wednesday (though it will post tomorrow) so maybe I’m just dopey and can’t figure out the comment system at Extreme Adventures in Motherhood.

So consider this a semi-blog post and a semi-comment:

I don’t often get called on to help out at the school. I’m not sure if I’m lucky or if I’m just so standoffish that the other moms don’t ask for me to get involved. The teachers appreciate when I come in to help, but they rarely ever ask parents for help specifically, they just send out notes and ask for volunteers. We seem to have pretty good parental support at our school, so they aren’t usually short on volunteers.

And that’s a good thing, because I definitely don’t find the work-at-home thing conducive to spending a lot of time on “other” tasks. I think it’s important to help out but I need it to be with lots of notice and organization so I can plan properly. I like to let my clients know if I won’t be accessible for long. I need to make childcare arrangements for BabyBoy sometimes. Oh the fun!

And double-booking? Been there and done that. It wasn’t pretty and I’ve worked pretty hard since then to be more meticulous in my calendaring. Although I think I have some dental appointments that need to be entered into my calendar – better go now and do that!

February 10th, 2010

WAHM Wednesday: Leisure Time

The simple fact that I’m finally typing this at 10:20 pm could tell you that I don’t have much leisure time. Or you might just know that I was watching tv for the last two hours instead of writing a blog post or doing a little work.

Yesterday I was reading over at Becky and Hollee’s blog about leisure time. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard about the leisure time experiment and follow up articles before, but yesterday I sat down and read this in entirety. And right there? That was basically leisure time, even by my standards!

I commented on Becky and Hollee’s blog that I don’t have much leisure time. And certainly I don’t feel like I have much leisure time and I absolutely am on 24 hour parenting duty most of the time. I go for a girl’s night out once a month if I’m lucky (my version of girl’s night usually involves dinner and shopping!) I go on a date with my husband every couple of months or three or four. And it’s taken us the two+ years since BabyBoy was born to finally start going on dates again. I’m not good about leaving my kids with a babysitter, but thank goodness I’ve found someone I like. If I lose her I’ll be in trouble again. I also have one day where my two oldest are in school and the youngest is at a dayhome. Which is sometimes a day full of leisure and often is a day full of work.

If I add it all up, and count the hour or two after bedtime on the couple of nights a week I’m not working like crazy, maybe it does add up to 30 hours a week. But shouldn’t leisure time FEEL like leisure time? Reading a book for 30 minutes before falling asleep is nice and I’m grateful for the option, but it’s so not the same as being able to go to a bookstore alone.

I guess us moms (well, this mom anyway) really do want it all – we want to work, we want to be with our kids and we want time for ourselves – real time. Time where we can do what we want to do, rather than fitting in ’sort-of’ me time. Sure I can do yoga at home, and that’s for my pleasure, but I can’t easily take a class because even when they are asleep I am required to be here. Even in Canada we have social services called on us if we leave young kids alone you know! So is the time when they are asleep leisure or childcare? Or can we really label our time at all? Maybe work life balance means that everything is mixed together, into a mish-mash of me and them and us.

Ah well, late night ramblings be damed – I love my life and whatever type of leisure I can find. Right now I think it’s waiting for me under a nice warm blanket and it’s name is sleep…..zzzzzzzzz.

September 8th, 2009

A Child Free Day

Today was an amazingly quiet day in my house. I can’t even tell you the last time I actually had a fully quiet day in my own home! I finally took the leap last week and did some interviewing and found a lovely dayhome for my youngest to  go to one day per week. He’s going on a day my middle is in kindergarten (and of course oldest is in full-time school), so I have absolutely no children for about 7 hrs once per week. And if work continues to pick up like it seems it will, I may even go to two full days per week!

I have to say, even with only one day of childcare under my belt, that this is something I’d recommend for every WAHM – and probably most SAHM’s too, if they can swing it! Where I live it’s surprisingly affordable to do one day every week or two, at only $35 to $40 for the whole day. To give yourself some breathing space, a chance to run errands or make phone calls without a little one suddenly needing your attention, is really worth an awful lot. I feel so rejuvenated! Usually I use my rare child-free breaks for “something”. You know, a get together with friends, a night out with hubby, a meeting or work related function. These are important things but they don’t really offer that opportunity to just enjoy some quiet time. Now I think I better go enjoy the evening with my lovely boys – I feel much more up for it than I usually do!!